Cringefest
by The Nonagon
Summary: Short Lemon chapters using characters from the writers in the Nonagon Discord Chat. All of these chapters contained some messed up lemons and not recommended for those who are under 18 years of age. Everything said in these chapters are jokes and aren't meant to be taken seriously. They aren't canon either unless you really want them to be.


Hi CHRISTIAN, SHOULD I UPDATE IT MORE BECAUSE LAPTOPER GOT LAZY LIKE A BITCH

Hi Asian man when we add morE TELL ME

Shut the fuck up

"I mean... Its not cringy but its not good either…"

"I still enjoyed the story either way"

"Still am in fact"

"This is really stupid yet really funny at the same time"

-JackIvMage12 the mega gay fucking faggot

"Jordan is probably the straightest fucker here" - Northeasternspirit (lol TRUE STORY)

"fuck you let me edit" -realflareon/lolfailsnail

Mom, Dad, Theodore and Nathan said that they would be gone for the day, so that means that they're not going to check up on me today! I'm alone and can do whatever I want! I was pacing around my den in excitement, I know exactly how I'm going to spend this perfect day! So I went to a drawer and took out a sweet ass porn mag and started jacking under the covers. Oh no i hope my fucking cousin isn't right next to me as i do this oh no.

I ran out of my home and towards Kori's den, hopefully he's not too reluctant about spending more time with me, maybe I should give more time to cool off after prom, since I only gave him a nights worth of a break... but I just had to take advantage of this day! My parents check up on me almost everyday (I practically have a curfew because of it, but it's still not that bad, since I can leave again once they see I'm fine), and they get worried sick when I'm not home.

When I arrived, I saw Kori lazily sitting on his couch and watching TV from the caves opening (if you know what I mean). I entered his home and tried getting his attention (if you know what I mean).

"Hey Kori!" I shouted, broadly waving

Then Kori slammed Sylvia on the table and climbed on top of her. They started making out and shit and it was really hot. Wow, though Sylvia. They banged and it was great. God I wish he was a Flareon though and I was a Leafeon omg. Me too. Hold on faggot

The next day, everything changed forever.

It was cloudy and the clouds were the sort of grey like an old porridge you forgot to throw out last week and it was kind of just sitting on the counter that whole time. It looked like it might rain but that was okay because Sylvia was already we=t if you know what I mean haha. Anyways… Kori called out and was all like "Wait, I want to show you my cool ass doujinshis of gay brony shit."

And then Sylvia was all like omg yes please daddy show me that shit. And he did. And i was like omg yes daddy thank you.

Get on the fucking voice chat

He turned his head and his eyes met me, he gave a friendly smile at me and waved back. I flinched when he did so, I've actually never seen him smile, and that smile is reeeeally cute, I blushed ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

when he did that.

"Hey Sylvia." He greeted back sexily.

My lord! He has such a confident and normal voice too! He's always a nervous wreck and stutters in nearly everything he says, I thought it was cute, but I'm totally okay with this too. I think it's just as attractive to me. I skipped over to him and plopped o( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

nto his couch, right next to him; I returned his smile and started moving my hand toward his dick but didn't actually touch it because I read on that that's how you get a guy.

"You look nice today." He commented. I could tell my methods were working.

I flinched again and blushed even harder, but I feel that there's something off about Kori; the chances are slim to none for him to miraculously start acting like this. I went and took the initiative by slamming him onto a table and

"Umm… thanks?" I chuckled nervously, "But, uhhh… Kori?"

He looked at me curiously, that's another different thing, he's not hesitant about full eye contact anymore. "Yes? Is something the matter?" He asked.

"It just…" I paused, unsure if I should really as( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

k fuk this, I decided to take the plunge, "Are you… feeling alright?"

He gave me a puzzled look.

"What? No, I feel fine. Is something the matter?"

"No no! Everything's fine!"

Oh but it isnt and then Kori went over and chased Sylvia around around around around around around around (if you know what I mean) "I want to show you my awesome rule 34 shit." Kori flipped to a page with a bunch of hardcore table slamming. "I'm going to show you how to bang, girlo," he said as he whipped out his 170 inch dick. "Do you like it? I call it 'The Strawberry Popsicle.'"

"Hell yeah," said Sylvia. "Kori… do you… want to fuck." It became harder to say with each word, I've never felt so nervous in my life. I WANT TO FUCKINF DIE

He looked at me, penis ablaze. "Yeah?" He was looking at me straight at the eyes again, those innocent eyes can make any girl fall for him. I needed to say it, I needed to ask him, so I said it in a moderately quick fashion.

"Do… do you like me?"

"U-" Kori flinched. His cheeks turned a light shade of pink. Instead of answering the question he just fucking shoved it in there. Oh yes I love this oh yes oh yes. ("I forgot he was a glaceon until i named his penis the strawberry popsicle" - realflareon 2017, November 321)

There was an unnerving silence, he still kept his penis there though and damn. His eyes trained on my pleading ones, his mouth was slightly ajar. A few moments of high tension later, he returned to that warm smile.

"Of course I like you! We went to prom together last night, didn't we?" He playfully reminded as he performed the first sex maneuver. THen he took out a power drill and put a corn on a cob, slapped in some double a batteries. I knew exactly what was coming and I trembled in anticipation. And then thrusted his dragon cock-a-doodle-doo into my magnificent mango.

I prefer melons

And then in response of that maximum euphoria pleasure town I just got, I turned around and took a bite of the corn.

The corn was actually really fucking good and it raised my sex stat by 3 points. Suddenly I knew this is exactly what I had read about on Jezebel.

Battle Start

[Linkin Park starts playing]

search?q=linkin+park&oq=linkin+park&aqs=chrome..69i57.2783j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

This is it, I knew. All of my training has led to this exact moment. My first fuck fight was finally here. I had to win. I'm going to use my incredible dick bat.

But before I could use it, Kori used the Corkscrew. I had read about it, as every teenage girl had, but I never dreamt I would actually encounter it. I lost 7 sex points. Luckily I still had 22 left.

I checked the stat screen and was horrified to see that Kori had 93 sex points. How the hell did he have so many? Could I actually even win?

I decided I had no choice and used the [insert sex position here] to try to make him cum as fast as possible so I could win. Just when I thought I had him, he used the Final Fantasy to resist. He only lost 4 points. The score was 22 to 89.

"Damn you Kori! Why did you have to use such a strong sex move already?! And how the hell do you have 93 sex point?! You're a virgin just like me!" I asked, confused out of my fucking mind.

"Have you seen the size of my dick?" He asked, shoving it in my face. "I do Dick Lifts every other day!"

Shit, I've never even met someone capable of doing three to four Dick Lifts per week. Who knew Kori was so strong? Could I really compete?

Before I could think about it any further, it was his turn again. He used the Hydro Whirlpool Tsunami move which took me by surprise. I was so shocked that it broke through my shield which I previously thought was impenetrable. I lost 15 sex points which brought me down to only 7.

Shit, I thought. If I take one more attack, I'm finished. The Strawberry Popsicle was only getting larger. It went from 170 inches to 250 inches! I just couldn't take this much vaginal abuse, so I took the initiative and whipped out the vag blaster 9000 and created a magical shield for the ultimate defense. Then I placed two cards face down and ended my turn. WHat is this the fucking trading card game YOU NERDS

"That was your last mistake, fool," Kori said. "Time to finish this." He wound up and prepared to deliver the Finishing Blow.

Suddenly I activated the trap card I had just placed down. "Not so fast, cunt. While you were gloating, I sneakily threw down the Magical Cylinder trap card!" I shouted, flipping the card over. "This card reflects your attack back at you!"

"Gah!" Kori shouted. His Finishing Blow was mirrored back at him and he lost an entire 32 sex points, bringing him to 61.

"Now I'll activate my other card, Swords of Revealing Light!" Green holographic swords appeared and enshrouded Kori. "You can't attack for three turns!"

Things were looking up, but I was still in trouble. Could I turn this around in three turns? I had to try. If I couldn't, he would finish me off with his next attack.

I looked at his worried face and cackled like Candace from Phineas and Ferb because yes. To ensure I could turn this around, I pulled out the rarest card in all of magic the gathering, the nutbuster. I flashed it seductively. His sex points instantly dropped to 47. I could sense his dick getting smaller. I was disappointed it was getting smaller but I wanted to win dammit! I made a mental note to suck him off before his sex points dropped below 30. ("laptoper wrote this paragraph not me" - realflareon)

Shut up cunt

"I put one card face down and end my turn." Kori said, knowing it was pointless to try to attack.

'I need something! What do I have?' I thought as I look at my hand. I had a blue-eyes white dragon and a red-eyes b chick in my hand. I also had a black hole card and a card called the nutcracker. It seemed to be able to defeat him in one blow but I had to sacrifice everything to use it, even bringing myself down to a single sex point. Here goes everything. I thought.

"I use the black hole trap card to destroy everything on the field. I then sacrifice everything to summon the nutcracker! I then attack with my nutcracker!" I yelled, having assured victory.

"I dont think so!" Kori yelled. "I sacrifice my kuriboh card to stop your attack!"

'Damn, he's good.' I thought. 'I can't win now. I know he can defeat me. "Just end it. I know you have a card that can."

He smirked. "Your right, I do. I use my oozaki card to deal 800 life points of direct damage!"

I flinched when he felt the final blow. "Dammit, I thought I had you. My nutcracker was supposed to finish the fight for me!"

"Better luck next time kid. Now give me all your digimon!" Kori said, demanding all of my pokemon.

Yep, some cringy shit here! - Jacklvmage12

Jack do me a favor and cuckle real for me

I don't know if I should feel overwhelmingly relieved or happy, so I decided to feel both of those emotions. As well as jizz fucking everywhere, because I thought it was the most efficient method at the time.

"Oh uhh… of course I remember that!" I played along. I turned myself into a mini nigger and bounced around on his caw-cock.

Seeing that our sides were practically touching, he took this as a chance to put his left forearm around me and pull me closer to him. I accepted in and snuggled closer to him, I instinctively purred at this blissful moment. I half expected his body to be considerably cold, since he's an ice type; but no, I was wrong, he's actually pretty warm, and his fur was really comfortable to rest on. I snuggled my head onto his boobies and focused my gaze on the TV.

There was a group of elephants, and god damn them and they had the most glorious gray ass I had ever seen!

This episode was a documentary of an elephant's way of life, they explain and showed scenes of how they defend themselves with their huge tusks, avoid predators, gather food, and stuff like that.

I fucking hate the discovery channel

There was a scene in particular that kind of scarred me a bit, the channel showed a video of a Weavile poacher shooting down a lone, adult elephant with a rifle and literally showed him smashing the filthy casual over and over again with his natural-born claw, kappa. But then was all like fuck it and raped that sad sack of shit to death because masculinity.

Author's Note: I actually almost never watch the Discovery Channel, I'm pretty sure the last time I saw it was like two years ago xD. I want to die. I'm only featuring it because it was the first thing that came to my mind about a channel that may fit with Kori's interest (since it's educational) and decided to roll with it. And wrote down what I remember (or believe) what the channel is like, sorry if I butchered it and offended any Discovery Channel fans. :P… JK xD suck my micro penis.

The show was really interesting though, there were a lot more episodes we ended up watching after that, we never got bored of watching them.

FAILSNAIL IS IN THERE, STANDING BY THE CONCESSION, PLOTTING HIS OPPRESSION.

^ true

"So… are we boyfriend and girlfriend with each other now?" I asked awkwardly during an episode, looking away from him and fumbling with my ribbons, blushing.

He turned to me and gave that same, heart melting smile. JK xd It actually melted my fucking ovaries off.

.

"Of course we are. You're perfect for me." He said comfortingly, then he rested his head on top of mine. I snuggled even deeper into his light blue fur.

Somebody please put a bullet through my skull

We watched even more episodes, and before we knew it, the sun outside was beginning to set.

There was a thing that started happened to me though… and it was inevitable, seeing that I'm with Kori right now, it's becoming night-time, and… that we're alone.

I was beginning to have sexual thoughts. GOD DAMN I JUST HAVE TO TAP THAT ASS THAT WAS ALREADY TAPPED BY HIS MOTHER! #real loves incest

Author's Super-Mega-Important Note: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I tried to brush away those thoughts, I know for a fact that Kori wouldn't like anything sexually related, even if it's the new Kori, well, I'm really not sure about the new Kori. But my ovaries were generating so much oestrogen. I needed to do something; I was starting to get desperate. My face must've been so red, Kori would have to be completely blind to not see it, fortunately he seems to be paying no heed to it. SO I SLAPPED him in the face in the face in the face in the face in the face and then slapped his little boy pussy.

"Umm… Kori?"

He turned to me. AND then revealed that he had the bubonic plague.

"Yeah?" (Stupid negro)

"Can you turn off the TV?"

"Uhh… sure, getting sleepy? Want me to come with you back to your den?" He kindly offered, grabbing the remote off the couch's armrest and shutting off the TV. this remote can be used for much more… useful purposes

"No… it's not that..."

"Then what?" He asked curiously, he looked at me as if he had no clue about what I'm going to do. Which is the case right now.

"I hope you don't mind… but…"

I pounced him, mashing my muzzle onto his. He was completely caught off guard, his eyes widened and he stumbled backwards. I was able to pin him down , he lay on the couch with me on top of him. He slowly closed his eyes, already accepting what was happening and embracing it, he put his forearms on my back. I'm glad he's enjoying this.

Essentially, we were making out. I can't believe I'm actually doing this, but this is sooo worth has got to be the greatest time of my life, maybe even better than the passionate kiss we gave at prom, probably because there aren't people around to stare.

Awesome cunt our lord and savior get In here and write some quality porn am i right guys

Hell yeah you are

Hey guys what if Awesome Sawss doesn't actually have a girlfriend and it's an excuse to write all that fucking porn

I mean he can do what he wants, more power to him honestly, but having a lucario legit jack herself off and having her dad walk in on her, what the fuck man. im surprised it didn't turn into a porno right there

Awesome cunt likes incest confirmed

I felt his tongue enter my mouth and explore the depths of my maw (he kinda stole my thunder there). It was so, pleasurable, I moaned into his mouth. I had hoped that this would satisfy my needs, but… I don't even know what I was thinking, of course this would arouse me even more. My mind is probably cloudy because of my arousal. I would mentally scold myself but, my mind is more focused on enjoying the moment. I was so goddamn aroused that i was just jizzing left, right, and center, holy shit you should have seen it.

I began to sense something emerging under me, I knew exactly what it was. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it would happen to Kori too, it only makes sense in these kinds of conditions. Any male would get turned on after a make-out session.

Oh dear, I thought, I was starting to feel eager about what's going to happen next.

I broke away from Kori and nuzzled his forehead (or his icy tuque really), I didn't dare look behind me.

"He he," He playfully chuckled, "If you don't want it, then it's fine."

"No… I want it…" I slowly replied.

He raised a brow, surprised; then did that smile that was to die for again. I mean,

"Really? Okay then, if you say so."

He grabbed the sides of my torso and turned us over, so now he was on top of me, and now I was the one who was pinned. I had made the mistake of looking down, then I saw it…

[Hey guys, Cunt source here]

"Eep..!" I squealed.

"Don't worry," He smiled down at me, he had those loving eyes that were just breathtaking to look at. "If you want to stop now, you can just say the word."

"No, I want you…" I said softly.

He blushed. And put a gun to his temple

"Alright then, I'm gonna warn you know, this is the first time for me." He chuckled to himself, "So, my bad if I mess up!"

"This is my first too, c'mon… just do it. I need some dick in my life."

He nodded. And then plunged his micropenis into the sky and flew back down to Hiroshima and nuked my ass (who fucking wrote this line). kappa

He's gonna do it, he's finally going to do it. I thought, I squeezed my eyes shut to prepare. It's almost like a dream come true, mating with someone you've had a crush on for so many years. Maybe this was too quick, but I feel that we're close enough to do it. Even though we've only got to know eachother for like about less than a week, and starting dating after prom last night (I never counted the first time I asked Kori out for us to be a couple, for multitudes of reasons).

I waited for the inevitable, but it didn't come. I opened my eyes again, I still saw him grinning, but he lowered his head down towards me and started to lick me. He's just teasing me now, I think he's trying to turn me on even more, I wailed at him to just do it.

Fuck off and eat my big fat juicy mother fucking dick you dirty little fucking peasant whores. White power!

"Honey…" He said seductively as he licked,

I blinked in surprised, that's the first time he said that.

"Honey," He said again, with the same tone. I groaned in pleasure as he started licking down my defenseless body. "Honey." He said again, but a bit louder. "Honey." He said a tiny bit more louder.

"Just get on with it." I moaned, "I need you now~."

"Honey." He grinned, knowing that his teasing is working, I think he's just saying it for that factor alone. "Honey…" He repeated, still teasingly licking me…

Then a bumble bee came out of the blue and jumped into the action

…

…

…

Dick really is amazing….

"Who could stand in the face of such a mighty array of casual footwear? I daresay I might even lose this time!"

Before I knew it, Kori's Dwayne The Rock Johnson hard dick was ramming into my ass at full strength, the bee wriggling around inside of my vaginal area, forcing me to be the dirty slut I always should've been.

"Can you smell what the ROCK is cookin'?" He yelled.

My cheeks were spread as wide as they could, allowing my Glaceon love full access to my sweaty body's interior. He made an extremely bold move during our hot, steamy, anal sex by forcing his tail under his cock and into my asshole, it's thickness making it seem like multiple men were penetrating my asshole. I was absolutely flabbergasted at how much energy he was putting into this. "Kori…" I moaned, completely out of breath, "Why didn't you tell me you were a fucking… sex machine? We could of did this in the… school bathroom or… it's pool whenever we were alone… together, just me and you.

Who the hell uses the word flabbergasted anymore?

"Just the two of us alone… Sounds beautiful. Just one thing is wrong. It's gonna be me, you, and my 20 yard cock going up your tight little ass and out of your mouth, wrapped around your body, and back into your pussy. It's so damn big that it'll bend out of your loose cunt flaps and wrap around your legs, squeezing the blood out of them before going through one of your pink ears and out the other, the tip finally coming to a rest on your tongue that's barely hanging out."

Guys im not joking literally someone end my life

I was about to laugh at his statement when I felt an actual human cock being shoved down my throat, a chubby man who was seeming to go bald except for on the sides of his head in my face. He snickered at my surprised expression before yelling "Were you not expecting Danny Devito's MAGNUM DONG to go down your throat? I'm everywhere child. Expect me at all times you honey little beastiality loving sluts."

A gargling noise escaped from my mouth as Danny's fat cock took up all the space my mouth had. "Just accept it…" Kori said, thrusting his length inside of me, "It makes this so much hotter."

I was amazed at how well Danny was at his job. His magnum dong truly did the job, throat fucking that fairy bitch was fabulous. She was the perfect amount of tightness, not too wet, just perfect. The most fuckable whore I had ever fucked. I'm not sure what changed my mood to her, but my once shy personality had changed to a completely horny and lust filled one. My dick slid in and out of her unlubed asshole with relative easy. Danny had been in the front facefucking her without missing a step. Her velvet feeling body took his dong like a champ. She had stopped gagging almost instantly forcing Danny to frown. "So you're use to magnum dongs? That's no fun, I'm finding another slut!" And with that, he vanished relieving her throat from his massive ass dick. dude why is this so descriptives you whores

PSA - JORDAN LOVES POKEPHILIA AND WILL DO ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING FOR SOME O' DAT MAGNIFICENT UMBREON COCK. ALSO LOVES DANNY DEVITO.

JORDAN MY NIGGY STOP CHANGING THE FUCKING PSA

Who is the blue nig at the start of this sentence?

Fuck you Laptoper, I do what I want

0/10 needs more salt

RICK IS FUCKING GAY AND SHOULD KILL HIMSELF

"What the fuck did I just read…" -Jacklvmage12

LAST UPDATED LIKE A WEEK AGO

GET TO FUCKING WORK FAGBOYS WE SHOULD JUST FUCKOND POST DIS SHOT BROUTHERS

REminder that realflareon is the nigga that changed the font to fucking comic sans

Realflareon is also hot as fuck and will fuck you if you ask

Dude when and where

Now and new york city

Jk xd he actually wants to slam laptoper onto a table

Oh wait i forgot that he's actually a FUCKING good father who likes to fuck his son's dog's owner's mother

Real likes to fuck men and all the generations

Not that theres anything wrong with that

When incest isn't bad. Fuck u

Ill write a diss track on you if you keep this shit up boyo

Yo what is a diss track

Its when you write a song that disses someone dumbass

Oh yes i would actually love that i want to die

I fucking agree you fucking niglet fags. By the way, the person over my shoulder says hi you fuck boys

cocaine is a helluva drug my friends

You guys are all coons who should fucking kill themselves. honestly diss tracks are only for coone and cocaine is a helluva drug. - gabe the dog

Of course i want to kill myself what the fuck are you talking about

And this story was never written on again because Laptoper is being a fucking Jew and not posting it - Jordanzz

Shut up u arab


End file.
